Audrey A McGee

“Wasted stress” is what I call it.

The title piece of advice came from an event about 4 months into my internship. We had just come back from our break in between quarters, and I had been looking forward to being a part of the Artistic Directors’ weekly meeting. It was a part of the second quarter, and a prospect that a former intern had hyped up to me. Being able to be in the room and pick their brains was all I wanted out of my internship.

After a couple weeks back in the office, I still had not yet been invited to the meeting. I sent an email to my mentor asking about it, and she told me something along the lines of — I would be better off using my intern hours somewhere else.

I was mortified.

Here I was, looking forward to a future in directing and producing, and a major event that had promised to bring me forward in my career — a standing date on producing every week — was suddenly denied to me.

That weekend, I talked to three or four people asking for advice, trying to work up the courage and proper consideration to respond. I felt angry because this had been part of the internship description when I applied, and nervous because I didn’t know how my mentor would react to me pushing back. I eventually asked for an in-person meeting, carefully planning my words. I meant to make the offer of coming in without pay. Surely they couldn’t say no to that, unless there was another reason they didn’t want me in the room. Did they hate me?

Now, for a little more context: my internship was only 10 hours a week. With that internship, I had, of course, needed to find another job. Therefore, I waited tables.

Scheduling is the bane of my existence — something I’ll talk about in tip #19. During my intern year, I struggled to reconcile my need for 8-hour chunks of waitressing with the 2- or 3-hour blocks I worked at the theatre in the middle of the day. Things changed from week to week, and I often asked both sides to help accommodate, to my personal stress and chagrin.

Back to my internal narrative, I mustered myself up for the in-person meeting to stand up for myself and what I wanted from this internship. I panicked, I stressed, and then arrived.

I explained my plight to my mentor: I had sincerely hoped for this opportunity to join the meeting, and I hope I’m not being too bold to ask to join. I’m willing to come in without pay.

Her response: Oh– you wanted to spend that time in the meeting? I was just wanting to keep your schedule tighter for your waitressing job.

Oh.

Okay.

That’s nice.

She was simply accomodating my request for condensed hours, that’s why she didn’t want me there. She didn’t hate me, she was trying to take care of me.

What a relief.

I’d wasted a lot of stress on that.

But me bringing my request to her made her realize that I was feeling a bit underfulfilled in my internship. She asked if I was interested in joining other upcoming projects that went beyond my intern hours.

Suddenly, I found myself as the dramaturgy intern for the next show and the directing shadow for the one after that.

I came into that meeting trying to be positive and polite, but worried off my rocker that I was in danger of being shunned. Assuming the best, preparing for the worst.

Imagine if I had just asked, without half so much trouble.